So, this past week or so has brought a bundle of new experiences to me. I discovered how fucking sexy it is to wear a belt.
I've occasionally worn belts in the past, but I've generally considered them pointless. Why not just get trousers that fit? Now, I have a load of trousers that are one size too large for me and insufficient funding to buy a whole new wardrobe. I'll wait until they're two sizes too large before recycling them.
The belt is essentially sexy as fuck. Firstly, the buckle draws attention in a "yo motherfuckers, check out my package" style. Secondly, the permanent cinching is like having disembodied hands hugging your waist. Finally, and most importantly, the act of unclasping the belt lets you know you mean business. You might just be going to the toilet or getting ready for sleep, but you mean business. The trousers aren't even unbuttoned and you mean business.
The belt exudes sexuality. I'm so glad to have found it.